Mixed Feelings

This is me at 36 weeks. Hard to imagine that I've been prego for a whole 36 weeks! Feels like just yesterday that Mark and I were reading our 50 pregnancy tests!!! As excited as I am, I am beginning to have mixed feelings about these little babes relocating.

Today I met with my Dr. to discuss what to expect on the day of my c-section. I went from being terrified of parenting twins, to being more terrified of delivering them. Prior to today, I didn't even think twice about the surgery...in fact, I actually never thought about the c-section at all. I know that C-sections are pretty standard these days, especially with twins, but for some reason the idea of getting a spinal and having NO control of my lower body gives me anxiety. How weird to think that I will be awake and alert the entire time they are opening me up and pulling my babies out? What if the spinal doesn't work?? Or worse, what if it wears off right in the middle of surgery??

In addition to this being my very first surgery EVER, I've never even suffered a severe painful injury that requires recovery time. How in the world will I be able to take care of 2 newborns after recovering from major abdominal surgery? Geez, the more I think about this all, I'm beginning to wonder HOW I'm going to pull this off. I think I'm gonna have to milk it in the hospital and extend my stay as long as I possibly can! Luckily I have a wonderful husband who will be there every step of the way.

So at a time when I should be anxious and excited to meet my little miracles, I am now petrified and having second thoughts. Maybe these little girls can stay nestled inside me a little longer??

Let the countdown begin!

These past couple of days have been pretty rough. Physically I am exhausted, uncomfortable, swollen, and achy all over. Emotionally, I am terrified, excited, anxious, thrilled and apprehensive at the idea of finally meeting my twin girls. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, really. I have had a wonderful, text book pregnancy considering I am carrying twins. I have almost made it to 37 weeks and will be delivering in 10 days via c-section at exactly 38 weeks. Apparantly, this is not very common in the twin world. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd make it this far. Mark and I were told we'd be lucky if I lasted 32 weeks. Little did they know, my girls are in no hurry to relocate. It feels great knowing that my girls have been snuggled in safely for this long and I'm praying that this will mean less time (if any) in the NICU.

So with this being said, I thought I'd start a blog for all of our friends and family to follow as the countdown to Isabella and Stella's arrival begins. In 10 days, at the very most, our lives will be turned upside down and we will embark on the best ride of our lives. For all of you who don't know us or who don't live nearby, I hope to give you a glimpse at how crazy life is when you're raising twins.